Reveling in Rejection

      Rejection. Just saying that word makes my face cringe and my heart stop. No one enjoys the feeling of rejection. It is human nature to want to feel accepted, and when someone or something stops you, the uninvited face of rejection appears and seeks to steal all of your joy. Rejection tells us that we are unworthy, not good enough, and broken. It causes an abundance of heartache and a deep, debilitating pain. A few weeks ago, I nervously opened one of my admission decisions. We are sorry to inform you... my heart sunk. I found out I was not accepted into an elite, prestigious university I so eagerly applied for (I won't say any specific names because I'm not here to bash the admissions process). The world stopped, and time came to a halt. I was devastated. Similarly to the thought of saying that nasty nine letter word, my heart skipped a beat. I stared at the e-mail for 20 minutes. I read it, re-read it, and quadruple checked that I was not missing something. Unfortunately, I wasn't missing anything. I was rejected with a giant, crimson red, and blood-stained R.

I was devastated. 

    As someone who craves control, I was fresh out of luck. I only applied to three schools, and now one of them was out of the question. One of the other schools is out of financial reach. So, here I am today with one reasonable option left. I wanted to be able to make a decision; unfortunately, the decision is made for itself. A kind friend mentioned to me how I once was asking God to show me clarity in my hunt for a college. He sure did. He showed me blatantly with a blaring rejection letter stamped across my forehead. But, he did show me clarity - not on my terms, of course.

     I wanted to be able to make a decision; unfortunately, the decision is made for itself.

   God has more incredible plans for my life than I can even imagine, and who am I to try and tell Him how my life needs to play out? I simply prayed for clarity, and He answered my prayers. I realized that it is silly of me to sit here and get angry with myself about trying harder, getting better SAT scores, or writing a more wholesome admissions essay. God knows that I should not be at that college, and nothing has the ability to change that. I am supposed to go where He is calling me. In any case, it's not about where I am. It is about how I am discipling to those around me regardless of my geographic location. He has it all under control, and even when I feel like a complete failure, He reminds me that I am loved, strong, and worthy in His eyes. There is a reason I am taking this path, and I am trusting wholeheartedly as I look to the cross. As one of my favorite songs exclaims, I need to learn how to dance upon disappointment; and in this case, revel in rejection.

I need to learn how to dance upon disappointment; and in this case, revel in rejection.